Freewrite

I feel so blank today.
Confused and somewhat disappointed at the thought that what I want may just be too much.
Why do I feel so empty..
Feeling like ALL I NEED IS LOVE;
to feeling like I DON'T WANNA BE LOVED!
- - - - - - - - - - "(i just wanna quickie)"

Content with the physical;
My female traits begin to tap in
Titles become relevant
I question things I once said didn't matter.

This feeling can be so complex until I simplify..
Why complicate myself ?
Because the one thing I want so badly has to be so complicated..

At times I fear it may be my own faults
Never wanna blame myself for myself
But it's no one else to blame..

I realize the only thing I can do is be myself
& someone will love me for who I am.
Someday I will find what I'm looking for

Hopefully when It comes around it'll still be what I want.

My heart aches this morning..
My thoughts flow through my heart
Causing unwanted feelings & questions..

I just want you here, love.
Be it my fear of being alone forever
& never completely being happy.
I crave you, love.

Frustrated and FED
My heart is uneasy
My thoughts so rampant
All I want is all I want.

Steer me there
Right to your arms..
Because there is where i'd rather be.
There is where I feel a temporary happiness.
A temporary escape from the harsh reality
That what I want is no longer wanted.

They say it's never too late,
So why do I feel like my time is running away from me,
As I get older I feel it more and more..

Makes me want to just say -----> FUCK EVERYTHING!!
and live 100% carefree
why do I have to care so much about everything?

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No happy endings.
It just ends.