Just my luck

I swear one good thing happens
& 10 bad things follow behind.

I don't have much to say about life,
I have been truly tired of living for a long time.
I hate it here, I feel as if I don't belong
& I let my emotions have the best of me.

I blame myself not for being me,
I am who you created me to be.

My anger forces me to push people away;
My temper is so controlling..
Over all of me..

I don't mean to be mean
My thoughts and emotions lead me to feel this way
I feel so fucked
Like I don't even wanna be here no more;

What's the point in trying?
When every time you try to do something good
You just keep getting fucked.

I wish life would stop fucking me
& give me a fair chance,
I know I can
Without all these distractions
& cluttered thoughts.

I know I can be someone great,
I just wish stupid shit would stop happening to me;
Nothing in this world is good when the devil has his eye on you.

Release me from my demons
I never wanted to be shit.
I'd faster die young than spend the rest of my life striving to be existent
& just never completely being happy, let alone content.

21 & I'm still not living;
Still not shit;
Still wanna be better
But still giving up;