Who Am I To Me

That annoying anxious feeling
Of my heart nearly beating out of my chest;

I almost always fall for it every time.

Time is such a harsh factor,
Although I know time heals everything.

I said this today not knowing the truth behind it
"No pain lasts forever"

Does pain last forever?

The fear that this pain will never leave me,
That I will never be someone


They say HE never gives you more than you can handle
So on my lowest of days I try to keep my head held HI not high

& even though I feel as If I have nothing going for me
I am still someone, I am still a being
& believe it or not
We all have a purpose;
I have a purpose.

I have a purpose!
Saying that makes me feel better,
Like I really am here for a reason.

I have control of my life.
Therefore change is possible,
Yet so hard to obtain.

Some days I feel like I know I can be better
While others I question my reason for change,
& fall victim of myself & my lavish ways.

Mistake me not for that of a fools'
I know who I am
I just don't know where I'm going
& I don't know what paths will transform me.

I am my mother,
     & my father.
I am my sisters.
Most importantly I am Petrill

Are these the people that formed me to be?
Or is it me who lost control & is now burdened with
such questions as Who am I to me?